Arch Enemy

Normally I am a laid back, easy going kind of guy. I get along with almost everyone I know. In fact I would say there are only 4 people that I have met that I honestly cannot stand. One was a guy from high school, one was a salesman from a previous employer, one was a ballroom dance instructor. Unfortunately the last one sits 15 feet away from me 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.

This woman, whom we not so affectionately call "The Big One," has absolutely zero redeeming qualities. She is literally and figuratively the biggest bitch I have ever met. It really doesn't bother me that she is 6' 2" 280 lbs. It doesn't bother me that her teeth point in 5 different directions and she is uglier than sin. What does bother me is that she is always rude and unpleasant. Since she works in collections, you would think she would at least have some phone skills. But no, she is completey rude and unprofessional to everyone. Then she complains aloud about how rude the people are to her! If I were her boss, I would have fired her long ago.

The other day I had to run updates on everyone's computer. So before I went home I logged on as the administrator to all the desktops, ran the updates, and shutdown all the computers. The next morning she came in and started banging her mouse and keyboard...

The Big One: Who the hell turned off my computer!?!"
Me: We had to run updates that install upon shutdown.
The Big One: So you shut down my computer.
Me: Yes, the updates don't get installed unless you shutdown.
The Big One: Well nobody turns off their computer.
Me: Last night I had to turn them all on except yours, I'm pretty sure everyone turns off their computers.
The Big One: You're telling me they all bend down and turn on their computers everyday.
Me: Yes.
The Big One: Fine. I guess, I'll have to crawl under my desk to turn on my computer then.
Me: OK


I understand that the computer towers for the staff are on the floor under their desks, but you've got to be DOING THE WILD THING kidding me if it is so much work to reach down and press a button. It isn't like you have to do 15 pushups 1st or anything. I am seriously tempted shutdown her computer everyday after she leaves. Puta!